Turning good intentions into completed actions: how to actually get later-life planning done

Why we put it off (and why that's completely normal)

If you've had 'sort out my will' on your to-do list for years, you're in very good company. In my workshops, the same reasons come up again and again:

• It feels too big, so we don't know where to start.
• It feels gloomy, so we'd rather think about it another day.
• We worry it will be expensive or complicated.
• We're waiting for the 'right time', after the house move, the wedding or the busy season.
• It means difficult conversations with family.

None of that means you don't care. It usually means the job hasn't been broken down small enough yet. That's the bit I can help with.

What 'done' actually looks like

It helps to know where the finish line is. For most people, 'done' means:

• A will that's legally valid. In England and Wales that means it's in writing and signed in front of two witnesses who are both over 18, and who then sign it in your presence.
• Lasting powers of attorney made and registered: one for property and financial affairs, and one for health and welfare, if you want both.
• Your key information written down and findable: accounts, policies, pensions, contacts and where everything is kept.
• Your funeral wishes recorded.
• A map of your digital life, so nobody is locked out.
• The people who need to know, told.

You don't have to do it all at once. Every item you can mark D for DONE! is a real gift to the people you love.

Which order should I tackle things in?

If you're not sure where to begin, this is the order I usually suggest. It isn't a rule, just a sensible starting point:

1. Gather what you already have, so you know your starting point.
2. Lasting powers of attorney. An LPA can only be used once it's registered, and registration takes time, so it's worth doing while all is well.
3. Your will, or a review of the one you already have.
4. Your key information and digital map, so people can find things.
5. Your funeral wishes, and the family conversations that go with them.

If something is already worrying you, such as a parent's health or a business that depends on you, start there instead.

What it can cost to leave it

I'm not here to frighten anyone, but it's worth knowing the facts.

If you lose mental capacity without an LPA, your family may have to apply to the Court of Protection to become your deputy. gov.uk lists a £432 application fee, £266 more if a hearing is needed, a £100 assessment fee for new deputies, and an annual supervision fee (£320 for general supervision). Registering an LPA costs £92 unless you qualify for a reduction or exemption.

If you die without a will, the law decides who inherits, not you. gov.uk has a tool to check who can inherit if there's no will, and it's an eye-opener for many people. And if you already have a will, gov.uk points out that getting married cancels any will you made before.

Seven habits that turn 'I must' into 'done'

1. Start tiny. Pick one step you can do in 15 minutes, such as finding your existing will or making a list of your bank accounts.

2. Book it like an appointment. Put a date, a time and a place in your diary: 'Tuesday, 7pm, kitchen table, list my pensions.' A plan with a time slot is much harder to dodge.

3. Break big jobs into small steps. An LPA isn't one job. It's: choose your attorneys, ask them, start the forms on gov.uk, choose a certificate provider, sign, then register.

4. Get a buddy. Do it alongside a friend, a sibling or a workshop group. We're all more likely to follow through when someone else is expecting us to.

5. Choose done over perfect. A simple list you finish beats a beautiful system you never start. You can always update it later.

6. Keep it all in one place. One folder, paper or digital, so you always know where to put the next thing. My guide to Creating a family handover folder shows you how.

7. Tell someone and celebrate. Once a step is done, tell the person who needs to know where it is. Then give yourself a pat on the back.

A simple 30-day plan

• Week 1: Gather. Get one folder. Find what you already have, such as an old will, policies, pension letters and bank details, and list what's missing.
• Week 2: Decide. Think about who you'd trust as attorneys and executors, and jot down your key wishes. You can change your mind later. Write down your first thoughts now.
• Week 3: Act. Book your solicitor or will-writing appointment, or start your LPA forms on gov.uk. Bring your folder: you'll arrive organised.
• Week 4: Tell and store. Tell your chosen people what you've asked of them and where your folder lives. Then put a yearly review date in your diary.

gov.uk suggests reviewing your will every five years and after any major life change, such as marriage, separation, having a child or moving house.

Making the family conversation easier

Conversations are often the hardest step. A few easy openers that work well:

• "I've been sorting my paperwork so you won't have to. Can I show you where things are?"
• "If anything happened to me, would you be willing to be my attorney? Here's what that would mean."
• "I went to a workshop about this, and it got me thinking. Have you and Dad ever written anything down?"

Keep it short, pick a quiet moment, and remember it doesn't have to be one big talk. Several small ones are fine.

When to see a solicitor or professional

• Your will isn't straightforward. gov.uk gives examples such as sharing a property with someone who isn't your husband, wife or civil partner, having a business, having property overseas, or family members who may make a claim, such as a second spouse or children from another marriage.
• You want advice on LPAs, trusts or inheritance tax.
• Someone may already be losing mental capacity.
• You need financial advice on pensions, savings or paying for care.

I'm the affordable first step before those appointments. Arriving with your folder ready means you spend your paid time on advice, not on hunting for paperwork.

Free resource: Conversation Starter guide

For lots of people, the thing that really stops them is the family conversation. My free Conversation Starter guide gives you easy ways to begin, so 'we must talk about this' becomes a chat you've actually had.

About the author

Caro Syson, founder, Your Final Matters, Hatfield

Caro Syson is the founder of Your Final Matters, based in Hatfield, Hertfordshire. She has spent 35 years in business across financial services, property, software and healthcare, has worked in the NHS and trained as an independent funeral celebrant with the Academy of Modern Celebrancy (AMC). She started Your Final Matters after helping her own mum, now 92, with her later-life planning. Your Final Matters was honoured in the Best New Business category at the Best Business Women Awards. Caro is not a solicitor or financial adviser: she gives practical, non-legal help and points people to the right professional when they need one.